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About Me

I want to inspire all those with difficulties, that no matter how hard it may seem, things can get better.
Be kind to yourself.

I want to inspire all those with difficulties, that no matter how hard it may seem, things can get better.
Be kind to yourself.

I want to take you on a journey, a new adventure for me. I have been living with Fibromyalgia,
Prolapsed Discs and Dissociative Seizure Disorder for since 2014.
I have lost everything to this
invisible disease. I want to share my path to self discovery if you will, I hope you'll join me.

 

I can forgive you for thinking this blog is all about my dog, but as a Veterinary Nurse, it's hardly surprising that my animals are my babies!

This isn’t a blog about things I know, there wouldn’t be much to share if it was. This is a blog of things I’m learning, a journey. It won’t always be chirpy or fluffy, I say things as they are. Here’s where it began……… I wanted to do this blog, to show everyone that negative changes in your life, can lead to amazing things. Whether you believe its naive of me or not, I believe that things happen for a reason. Now I’m not saying that I believe there’s an ultimate power that uses us like puppets. I believe in the control we have, on our own lives to do with it as we will. Negativity breeds negativity, and so on. Yes, there are immeasurable amounts of things that are out of our control, but let’s control what we can. Where we go from here and whether we keep a positive outlook. It’s amazing the difference a positive outlook can make. Instead of, “what am I going to do now?” I choose to be excited when I say “what am I going to do now?” It can be a huge opportunity if you let it. Now I appreciate all that may sound a bit cryptic, so here’s my background;I trained and worked as an RVN, (amongst other things but that’s not the story for now) as soon as I qualified I wanted to gain as much experience and knowledge of the profession as possible. So after exactly 4 weeks from qualifying, I left my practice and set off into the world as a national Locum. Summarising, I spent many years moving around the country, working at all manners of practices, from species specific, to incredible referral and teaching hospitals. I worked hard. Worked many crazy shift patterns and moving from one job to the next, including across country, one after the other. Almost exactly 2 years ago, whilst on a usual hectic working day, I dropped to the floor and had my first Dissociative Seizure. Completely out of the blue. I won’t go too much into what that is, just give you an overview. Basically my brain, stops talking to my body and I lose all control of every function, even swallowing. This was understandably a scary time. I carried on working through the diagnostics and multitude of specialists, having every test from 48hour EEGs, ECGs, a brain MRI, you name it, I probably had it.This is the diagnosis I was given, basically, they don’t know what it is, it’s not fully understood. It comes under the category of psychogenic illness, which leads me onto what happened next. During this test period, I had multitudes of pains which just kept getting worse, more widespread, more intense, then the fatigue hit me like a freight train. Working was getting harder and harder to do. Then about 8 months into this, the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia was given. I wasn’t sure how I felt. I didn’t want to believe it. I figured something would happen to make them realise this wasn’t the case. This day has never come. My health has continued to decline. My days are monotonous yet unpredictable. How much pain will I be in? Will the fatigue keep me static all day? These questions have haunted me, lingered over my head, but I refuse to go on like this! A couple of months into 2014 I started using my time researching up cycling as it was everywhere. I wanted to experiment with a table we had bought, it all started from there. In the beginning I was much more capable, I would start a piece and not stop until it was complete.

I found a strange quiet, a distraction from the pain. Sometimes I can’t do it, in those cases I plan and research. I have sketchbooks and scrapbooks coming out of my ears, but most importantly for now, this also led me to blog. I want this to be a discussion board for people with difficulties as much as for creativity. So let’s do this…………